Sleepless

Home, originally uploaded by Tuttebel.

Counting sheep for weeks now, can't seem to get grip on a normal sleeping pattern.

To skip a night or two is great for my creativity. Ideas open up easier in the wee hours of the night. And as tiredness takes over the inner critic shuts down. Once a month it's a good place to be.

Now, I'm just walking on my last reserves, energeticly and emotionally.
That's a state I despise. Small things matter to much, I get overwhelmed by feelings. Daily life feels like a constant struggle.
Depressing thoughts take over.
Beltane seems lightyears away.

Time to visit my inner place of power
and find first peace,
joy will follow :)

Meet the Foggels

Foggels, originally uploaded by Tuttebel.

I had the best rainy tuesday, having the home to myself.

Enjoying the solitude.
Made some more drawings on a cardboard box.
and take these two Foggels out in the little garden.
They look a little scared, small birds in a big world.
Just like me.

At home I don't have to be brave.

That's what I love,
just to be me
and play a little.

****
O my, having posted this I decide to google Foggels, to see if the word is already out there. To me it sounds like a strange way of saying the dutch word for birds - vogels-.
Ahum, it already has a meaning; Foggels; when you place your testicals over someones eyes to blind them.
Now they really make me laugh.
And am wondering what word there is for breasts who do the same. Boggels?

Ich liebe alle Farben

Outdoor, originally uploaded by Tuttebel.

Just a photo from the tiny city garden.

And notice my love for bright colors,
one thing I'm not afraid of.

Happy weekend.

Lost

Lost, originally uploaded by Tuttebel.

A page from my dummy.

For the love of getting lost in the magic wood:

Find a circle of toadstools, or oak trees,
take a bath in the full moon.

Dance with the fairies,
make love till dawn.

Laundry night

Laundry night, originally uploaded by Tuttebel.

Today I had a good time playing in the woods with a bunch of great children.

And now just happy to be alone in my studio again.
Having visions of a little house made out of cardboard boxes with lots of my strange drawings.

In my art I'm on a eternal quest for magic.

Working with the children made me again realise that magic lies in ordinary things.
The wonder is in the eyes of the beholder.

I'm dancing in the spring rain, spreading fairy dust to you.
Love Elisa.

Living in a box

face my fears, originally uploaded by Tuttebel.

Working with cardboard boxes.
Try to draw the world inside my soul. See what's in the boxes in my heart.
Notice how the tapes in my head are playing the same tunes on and on.
( -I draw like shit-, -I'm a crap artist- )
Spend some time with my fears.

Take a breath, or maybe four.

But most of all, I enjoy the spring. The fresh green, the little flowers and the warm sunshine.
Energy for free :)

Lucky winner :)

Lucky winner :), originally uploaded by Tuttebel.

Today at lunch I got a surprise, my price came in; a dvd about Kurt Weill. Lucky me.
I've won in a radioshow, Scala at WDR 5. The radio in the studio is always tuned on the WDR 5.

They descibed the life of a musician. It was Blixa Bargeld, being a long time Einstürzende Neubauten and Nick Cave fan I just had to send a mail.

Winning a price is so good for my playful soul,
and Kurt Weills music is healing food for all my souls.

I am a lucky winner, I already have won some great things; Versace sunglasses in a magazine ( they are so Italian putta, I just love them.) A one-day trip to London, books, I come home from witchcamps with lots of goodies won in the raffle.

But the best price was a hot-air balloon trip. To fly with the wind, carried by only air.The silence and clear hearing when the gas-flame was off. So magical.

May we all be lucky winners in our lives, love Elisa.